8 Things Happy People Don’t Do

Unhappy people do certain things that happy people avoid at all costs.

If you’re doing these things, you’re not as happy as you could be. Achieving anything involves avoiding certain behaviors and adopting other behaviors. The same holds true for your happiness.

Some people have a natural skill for being happy. Even if this skill isn’t natural for you, you can learn and be happier than you have ever been. Isn’t that exciting?

Avoid engaging in these behaviors if you want to be happy:

Dwelling on the past

Feeling bad about something that has already happened doesn’t make a lot of sense. Without a time machine, there’s not much you can do to change it. Late for your meeting yesterday? How will feeling bad about it help now? Mad at yourself for not asking out Sam Watson in high school? It’s too late now.

Leave the past alone and focus on today. Life only happens in the present. You’re wasting your life by being focused on the past or the future.

Worrying about the future

Worrying about the future isn’t much better than being bitter about the past. Both perspectives sacrifice your present and ruin your mood and throw off your best self. Prepare for the future, but avoid dwelling on it. Most of your concerns will never happen anyway and all the worry is a waste of time.

Holding a grudge

Refusing to forgive others only punishes you. At least half of the people you’re upset with don’t even know it. They’re going about their lives without any concern for you. Who are you actually punishing? Only yourself.

Comparing themselves to others

With over 7.6 billion people roaming the Earth, there’s bound to be someone who’s wealthier, better looking, smarter or a better dancer. Comparing yourself to others is a losing game, especially when you compare your weaknesses to other’s strengths.

The biggest problem with comparing yourself to others is you are generally comparing your struggle to someone else’s highlight reel. You don’t see the negative aspects, the long nights, the sorrow of another’s life, you see what they choose to show the world, and it is usually the “best of the best.”

Ignoring the positive

Humans are programmed to look for danger and focus on the negative.  This is programmed into our DNA from our caveman days and helped our Paleo ancestors stay alive. They had to always be ready for danger lurking around every corner.  So you need to ignore most of this “monkey-brain” talk telling you do be careful or watch out for everything. Lots have changed since the caveman days, but our mind is still trying to protect you at all costs.

This makes it easy to ignore all the positive things going on in your life and worry too much about the what-ifs that surround us.

You can counteract this tendency by making a list of all the good things in your life and reading it each day. Make a habit out of this. Keep the list by your bed and read it every morning and night. You can make this even more powerful by starting a gratitude journal where you write down 3-5 things you are grateful for each day. You will soon retrain your caveman brain.

Focusing on the negative

When you look at everything that isn’t the way you’d like it, it’s easy to feel depressed and hopeless. Most things in retrospect, are not as bad as they first seemed. Again, give fair time to the positive things in your life. You have plenty of them.

Worrying about what others think

You might think you outgrew this mindset after high school, but you’d be one of the very rare few. Kicking this habit can take a lifetime, but it’s also incredibly satisfying. You’re never free if you’re worried about what others are thinking. It taints every decision you make and disconnects you to your authentic self. You can’t create a truly fantastic life worrying about what others think.

Working at a job you dislike

It never makes sense to spend 8+ hours each day in a way you despise. Jobs are not permanent and you can always be on the lookout for a better job. Find work that you honestly like and you’ll remove one of the primary causes of unhappiness.

Are you as happy as you’d like to be? If not, there are certain things you must avoid doing if you want to maximize your happiness. Happiness is a choice you must make each day. Failing to choose happiness is choosing unhappiness and why would you want to intentionally do that? You have to make the effort if you want to experience happiness on a regular basis and create a life you love!

Consider your perspective of the world. Is it making you happier or less happy? How do you spend your time? What do you think about? What changes can you make that will shift your life toward happiness? Spend some time thinking about it. These ideas can change your life.

Here’s to living the life you LOVE!