Ep. 50 What It Takes To Be Happy

What It Takes To Be Happy

If you’re not happy with where you are right now what can you do? What if you hate your job? OR hate where you live? Do you have options? How do you make changes to move toward being happy?

Torie Mathis and he cohost Sean talk about their many twists and turns to get where they are today; changing jobs, hating jobs, major injuries, moving across the country, and finding home.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION –
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SAF 50

[00:00:00] Torie: If you’re not happy, then you have the power to change your life. And go in whatever direction you want to go.

Hey. Hey, welcome to smart AF I’m your host Torie Mathis. We have got a great show for you today, so let’s get started. Hey, what’s up, guys? It’s your host Torie Mathis here with the husband, Sean Mathis the one, the only.

[00:00:30] Sean: Hello. 

[00:00:31] Torie: So we were talking the other day about the fact that there are people that believe that you should stay at a job forever, even if you’re not happy about it. And I think that though, this may have been the case. I don’t know what, like 50 years ago. 

[00:00:49] Sean: Back when you had really good pensions, I think it kind of made sense to stay there. Because you were going to have a fantastic pension when you retired, but those days are all been over. 

[00:01:01] Torie: I really think that if you are not happy at the job that you’re at, like figure out how to move on, like life is way too short to stay in a job that you don’t like.

Even if maybe you had a plan that like that, like you thought that that was what you were supposed to do or you thought it was going to be great. So you feel like, you know, you finally got there, so you should stick it out. Think that’s bullshit. 

[00:01:30] Sean: I was at Pepsi for seven plus years started as a merchandiser and then went into the maintenance department and stayed there. And I mean, it was give us a cush job four day work week, three days off, drive around in my own pickup truck. Made decent money even was pretty good money for what I was doing, but as bored and miserable, I mean, it was boring. It wasn’t challenging me at all. I mean, everything that I was doing I could do with my eyes closed and I don’t the type of person that I can’t do that.

Yes, the money is good. I’ve been there long enough as best that all the reasons you would stay But we left, I quit and we actually moved out of the state. 

[00:02:18] Torie: We decided that just, wasn’t what we wanted to do. You know, we, where we were at was we knew that that wasn’t the plan. I don’t think so. We ended up moving to Idaho and I don’t think that, that we knew that was like the final destination.

But, you know, we had a one-year-old and we knew that we needed some change and that, that where we were at, wasn’t it, wasn’t what we wanted Sean quit. 

[00:02:46] Sean: And I quit without even having like anything concrete that I wanted to continue to do. I was able to transfer with Frito-Lay because it’s all PepsiCo. But that was back to merchandising, just chips instead of. Which sounds like it’d be easy and it was. But man, did I go backwards? I was absolutely miserable doing that. 

[00:03:11] Torie: That’s okay. Like if you have to make a change and you have to be uncomfortable for a little while, that is okay. But that doesn’t mean that you had to stay in that job forever. Sean got there didn’t like it. And what did. You looked for something else like, and that is okay. 

[00:03:27] Sean: When I looked the whole time, I actually, when we went and I had a goal to try to get hired to do something specific and it just, I wasn’t able to do it until we were actually there and I had the ability to transfer in and have a job. And so that’s kind of the reason why that kind of scenario played out there. But eventually I got the other job and I was there for three years. I was actually, I, I became a police officer and enjoyed that for as long as I could do it until I physically could no longer do it. 

[00:03:56] Torie: Sean ended up hurting his back really bad, had to have back surgery. 

[00:04:00] Sean: And ended my law enforcement and military career at the same time in the military career, that was 11 years. It’s fine though. And that brought us to being able to move across the entire country. And I started another job which was awful I mean, it was terrible. I absolutely hated that job. 

[00:04:24] Torie: You, but you had an expectation that it was going to be a great job. And when you got there, like it wasn’t what you thought.

[00:04:31] Sean: No. So then I go and I go try to get another job. And I interview for it and the guy’s like, you’re overqualified for this. What are you doing? And I’m like do I have any I need a job. We just moved my family across the country, the job that I had didn’t work out. So here I am, you know, I’ll do whatever I need to do.

And I still like get me up to page and I’ll be a manager or whatever the case may be. But what’s funny about that is that job didn’t last very long either because it’s not what I wanted to do. And even as a manager, it’s not what I wanted to do there. The manager that hired me though wound up becoming one of her clients. So, and he went out on his own and got his own business. So that, that was cool. That connection from there. But then I wound up going back and working for Pepsi again, doing the same thing. I had done three plus years prior before, but now I’m doing it again for less money in a new area. I’m overwhelmed with what on my plate to deal. And it wasn’t what I wanted to do still. 

[00:05:38] Torie: So you could look at all of this and be like, well, that’s stupid. You shouldn’t have moved. You should’ve stayed in the cush job first, if you were just going to go around and, you know, end up having, but you know what, that is what it took. To get to where we’re at now.

Like we had to go through that. Like that’s just how it had to be you know, during this whole time of us moving and Sean switching jobs, and you’re trying to kind of figure stuff out. I was still a new entrepreneur at a lot of this and a lot of it I was making well. Yeah. And I was a new mom twice during all of this.

And, you know, what we’ve figured it out. And you know, while you were a police officer, like that was really great, like you liked that it was you know, I thought that was going to be what you were going to do and you know what, it didn’t work out, but that’s okay. Like we ended up figuring other things out and that did open up the opportunity for us to move across the country.

And, and, you know, we moved to North Carolina first and I, and I think we kind of could tell that, like, that wasn’t where we were meant to be. Yeah, we’re in Georgia now. And it feels like home. Like this feels like where we’re supposed to be. We moved a lot you guys, it really is. 

[00:06:45] Sean: A path that led us to Georgia was only because I no longer worked for Pepsi again. I ended that career. And we just wanted to live like on a lake and I, it was like on a map. I got that one’s on a lake. 

[00:07:00] Torie: Yeah. Once John stopped working for Pepsi, like it was finally done. And like, so he was going to quit and break it forever. He was going to come and work.

[00:07:08] Sean: Look for another job. 

[00:07:09] Torie: No more job. Like this was Sean’s like break free finally from it, we weren’t tied to anything anymore. So like his story that he tells, like, literally, like let’s find a lake to live on we wanna live on a lake. 

[00:07:23] Sean: It just happened to be that the house that was in Georgia, Lake Hartwell is where we moved to. 

[00:07:28] Torie: And that’s not where we’re at now, you guys. 

[00:07:31] Sean: But it was within Mo it wasn’t even a year that we lived in that house, that the opportunity then came, that started in my house at a time. I mean, the story of all, this is really crazy. And it’s, if you think about, well, I’ll just play it safe and be miserable. 

[00:07:48] Torie: And keep my corporate job.. 

[00:07:50] Sean: That talk shit about Mondays. And can’t wait until Friday and want my weeks vacation and all. And no, I didn’t want anything. I want to keep moving forward and try something new and challenge myself and if they led to well. 

[00:08:04] Torie: And we’ve always been that we want to have a good time now, like we’re still preparing for the future, obviously, but I don’t want to work a grind corporate job and like waiting for retirement, waiting for the weekend. Like, it’s just not like that for us. And we’ve never been that kind of person.

And it’s taken us awhile to get to that point. And as you can see Sean switched jobs a whole lot after not ever. 

[00:08:31] Sean: Like I didn’t switch jobs. I was 19 years old, straight out of basic training and in high school and then came back air national guard, and I went to work for Pepsi. I mean, I was, I was there for years before we’re going okay, well, it’s no longer challenging management wasn’t an option unless I was going to move somewhere. I didn’t want to move. And even then, like, is that really still what I wanted to do? And the answer was no. 

[00:08:58] Torie: But there are people that told you, you were. For not just keeping your good job, like you should’ve just shut up, keep your job. You’re going to have a pension you’re going to retire. You can ride this out to the various. 

[00:09:10] Sean: What’s funny is those same people are absolutely miserable in their current positions. They, they make decent money, know one could probably make even more money if you just left and did something else. And it wasn’t miserable, but they’re scared.

[00:09:31] Torie: I always think that if any type of position that you’re in, whether it’s the job that you’re in, the relationship that you’re in, the house that you’re in the city that you’re in. Like if your not happy. Do that first step to make a change, like whatever it’s going to be, because you don’t have to stay where you’re at.

[00:09:52] Sean: And we don’t recommend like going into your boss, man, like, fuck you automatically stopped hanging on your house and go like Plan like, there’s nothing that says you can’t start applying for other jobs. 

[00:10:07] Torie: Right. Figure out what else you might want to do and start seeing where that those other jobs move somewhere.

[00:10:12] Sean: Start looking there. What’s available. And then I take a trip, go check it out and see if you even like it. Don’t just, don’t just say we can’t do. It’s going to be go see if you can do it. Chances are, you can. 

[00:10:25] Torie: So many people say like, it’s going to be hard. It’s a hassle. I can’t afford it. Like we couldn’t afford it either when we did all these things, but we figured it out.

[00:10:32] Sean: Yeah. If we went from where we were, our first house we bought and just jumped to where we are right now, without any of the in-between, it wouldn’t make any sense. Like we, we couldn’t do

 at all. There’s no way, like, even psychologically my mind, wouldn’t be able to jump that far in advance. I needed those other steps to, to get through, to get us to where we are here.

[00:11:00] Torie: It’s that like messing up and figuring stuff out. And so what that, the jobs weren’t the perfect jobs who. Like you picked up a little experience, you met some people you moved on and that’s okay to do, but sometimes you got to make it messy. And in order to, to get to that better place. cause I can tell you, I can’t imagine what our life would be like right now.

If we would have stayed in that first house we bought in California, you know, there are so many people, people, I grew up with people that like they’re in the exact same place, just because they’re comfortable. 

[00:11:38] Sean: They might not even be comfortable. 

[00:11:40] Torie: Well no, I just mean that they’re comfortable, so people don’t want to get out of their comfort zones. And so I’m happy that we have been able to push out of our comfort zone. And I know there are so many people that man they’re just itching to do something else and they just listen to what people say, or they have that fear. And man, like you don’t have to jump all the way into whatever it is new, but if you’re not happy with where you’re at right and you should be happy. Like, no, I’m not talking about like, just being comfortable. Like if you’re not happy with where you’re at right now, just take the first step to make a change because it’s just one step and one step and then one step. And then before you know it like. 

[00:12:20] Sean: And that change might be wrong. It might not be the right change, but it’s still a change. And then you figure out, Hey, that’s not the right change. Guess what you do change again. Keep changing until you, you hit the right luck. 

[00:12:33] Torie: Because all those changes, aren’t failures like Sean switching to all these different jobs. He didn’t fail and fail like we don’t think of it like that. It’s just what had to happen to her clothes. 

[00:12:43] Sean: That’s right now they’re not like, show me your resume. Show me all these jobs you left prior to becoming an entrepreneur. 

[00:12:48] Torie: Okay. It’s like, nobody cares. Like we’re so above and beyond that. People seriously, we’re worried about Sean’s resume. What is your resume going to look like? If you keep switching jobs, you know what? We’re getting to a point where we don’t care what the resume looks like. 

[00:13:04] Sean: I’m gonna keep being employed by somebody. And that is a valid concern of yours. Explain it that’s not what brought me joy. That’s why I’m here. That hopefully this is the right job for me, that I want.

[00:13:18] Torie: I want Marie Kondo your, your jobs. This doesn’t bring me joy. I’m outta here. It really, your whole life. 

[00:13:26] Sean: I was interviewing somebody and that was what they told me. Like they didn’t stick around and become a toxic employee. They, they, then they were better for the company to leave. I would be more inclined to hire that person hoping they fit in. And guess what if they don’t, I know they’re going to leave. And so it’s not going to be an issue. It’s not like, Hey, this person doesn’t fit in with our, you know, our climate of the company. So I’m going to have to fire them. It goes through all that hassle I I’ll know. So quick. And it’s, and it’s, you know, it’s almost like a security blanket for the employer, but on the odds that they’re a perfect fit and they become a model employee, that’s a win. That’s going to make more money for the company. 

[00:14:13] Torie: Yeah. I, I don’t think that employers really care that much in the end. If it, if they’re trying to find somebody that’s good for their culture, like if they have a good culture, they’re willing to go through people that are willing to go through to find the right culture.

[00:14:27] Sean: Like if you get yourself fired, that’s. 

[00:14:31] Torie: Never ever, am I saying, quit your job and go run off somewhere. But if you’re not happy, then you have the power to change it. And go in whatever direction you want to go and it’s notice and, and do all the proper steps. But yet do it still. ’cause that’s the only way that you’re gonna get to this point where your life does make you happy that you do find joy, because I think everybody has the possibility to not hate Mondays.

Like I hate that there are things like my biggest pet peeves really is people posting stuff about how much they hate Mondays people posting about how much they are waiting for the weekend. Like, yay. It’s Friday. Cause my whole life sucks during the week. And that mommy needs a drink because her kids driver so much crazy that she has to drink. Like, I hate those things. Like more than anything, like, life is so much more than I hate Monday. Like if your life is I hate Monday, then just start making it change because you don’t need to live like that. 

[00:15:38] Sean: Working for somebody else. And Monday came around and I was like, all right, start to get paid for my time. Again, spent all this time on the weekend with family, not getting paid kind of garbage. Now I get paid all the time, paid all the time. Theoretically never. 

[00:15:57] Torie: Oh, the joys of being an Optum. Don’t let people stop. You. Don’t let their chatter get in the way of your happiness because in the end, it’s you like your, with you and those people don’t matter, honestly, whether they’re your friends or your family or people you’ve known forever, like. If they’re trying to hold you back or keep you down or whatever, then, you know, you gotta, you gotta do what’s right for you and what’s right for your family.

And I think that what’s right for you and you’re right for your family is always going to be, to be happy, to not hate Mondays because that’s a lot of stress. That’s a lot of that’s good. 

[00:16:46] Sean: Do some research, figure out what you want to do, figure out what you think might make you happy. And if it doesn’t try something else better than staying stagnant and miserable. 

[00:16:56] Torie: And it’s okay to not like the court’s direction you went, you just put another foot in front of different direction and try something else.

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