SMART AF

How to get you and your business from where you are to where to want to be.

 

Ep. 126 Raising Quitters – How to Know Yourself

by | Smart AF Show

How to Know Yourself

Raising Quitters – How to Know Yourself

We all know it’s easier to quit than to keep going when things get tough, but what makes some people hold on and others go down for the count?

In this episode, Torie Mathis and her cohost Sean talk about their kids giving up, how society coddles quitters, what to do when business goes sideways, and the number one way to ensure YOU won’t give up when times are tough. And we learn everyone needs a “Kevin”.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION –
(transcription is auto-generated)

SAF 126

[00:00:00] Torie: I don’t want these kids to grow up as quitters cause no, what they do to be adults that are quitters. 

[00:00:06] Sean: It becomes easy. And like it’s like practicing anything. You practice quitting a whole bunch and you’re going to get real good at it.

[00:00:23] Torie: Hey, what’s up it’s Torie Mathis your host I am here what’s the one and only Sean Mathis founder of Miles Through Time Automotive Museum. 

[00:00:29] Sean: What’s going on.? 

[00:00:30] Torie: Yeah. It’s crazy. Riley is 12. He is going to be 13. And man, he is at that age that he’s like testing stuff. And I know we’ve talked about it before, make things get a little bit difficult and he’s like, I want these kids to grow up as quitters cause no, what they do to be adults that are quitters. 

[00:00:55] Sean: Yeah. It becomes easy. And like a it’s like practicing anything, you practice quitting a whole bunch and you’re going to get real good at it. 

[00:01:02] Torie: I like Bella, Bella goes to her circus classes. And so she does a Lira, which is like the big metal ring and so she’s kind of pull herself up there and hold herself and all these things and she comes home and her arm sore she’s 10. She doesn’t really know like a lot about like being sore. So she comes over and she’s like, ah, my arm hurts. I can’t do anything. I’m like, that’s called your sore. Like that’s good. 

[00:01:28] Sean: Shoulder just hurt.

[00:01:30] Torie: Her shoulder it’s a little bit of both, but we’re just, you know, doing things like quite a bit that it’s gonna happen. 

[00:01:38] Sean: I wouldn’t paint it, all those lines at the museum and my body hurts so bad after. Yeah, it was fine doing it. So I’m progressing as far as, you know, how it used to be, where I’d just be in all kinds of pain from that after a couple of back surgeries, but now I’ve gotten through that and I’m able to get through my body was a little bit sore there the next day, but that’s fine. No reason to not be able to go do something like that. 

[00:02:01] Torie: Sean had two back surgeries before you were 30, right man, two of them. And so coming back from those is quite well. 

[00:02:11] Sean: And that’s the thing is, you know, I’ve got my mom’s if it was up to her, I’d never do anything ever again. 

[00:02:18] Torie: You post a picture of you doing anything.

[00:02:23] Sean: I don’t care if I was 50 and then I had the two surgeries, like I’m not going to go the rest of my life thinking, well, that’s it, for me, it was bad enough into two careers at, at the same time. But I mean, there was no getting around that at that point. And it ultimately turned out to be obviously the the best thing that could’ve ever happened.

[00:02:45] Torie: For sure.

[00:02:45] Sean: But you know, there there’s certain things that still hurt and may always hurt, but it, it’s not enough to make it so that I should never do it again. And I still want to go hiking and doing all these things that, you know, I don’t want to be prevented from doing that. 

[00:03:00] Torie: Right. Well, sometimes you just got to take it easy. And like we’ve told Riley, like we went on fall break last week and we went to this indoor water park and that kid went up the stairs for the slides 9,000 times. And apparently like 8,999 is the limit. And so he, you know, Go out there for a couple hours and you’ll do all the watersides and stuff, and then go back to our room and like, you know, make some food and chill out.

And then we go back over there again. The last time he didn’t make it there. 

[00:03:33] Sean: It’s like six flights of stairs. Every time to go up to that top, that top slide, 

[00:03:38] Torie: like we were so excited to go one more time. That day because the slides get dark, like it gets dark outside. And so the natural light isn’t coming into the slides anymore. And so there’s a couple of them that are pitch black and it is amazing and exciting and he was so excited to do it. And he was so pooped out. He went to bed, but that’s good. He, it doesn’t mean that he didn’t do it the next day. Like, it wasn’t like he quit completely, but he was smart enough to know like, Hey, maybe I need to pull back just a little bit.

And that was pretty cool. I thought that was a good thing that he did. Because you know, that that takes experience. And I want these kids to understand because there’s damn adults that don’t get it, like listen to your body, listen to your, like, if you are go to bed. Like you don’t have to stay up. You don’t have to push yourself to do all these things, but just because you’re uncomfortable, doesn’t mean you get to quit. Like just because Bella is sore from Lira doesn’t mean that she doesn’t do Lira anymore. It means that, okay, you’re going to be sore probably every time. What can we do to make it better?

You know, maybe every once in a while you need to take like ibuprofen or something, maybe you need to ice it or heat it, or take an Epsom salt bath. Like you got to figure these things out for yourself. And I always tell them, like, I’m not you are you, I don’t live in your body. This body works differently. And I haven’t been that age in a long fucking time. So you, do you think people’s parents don’t tell them these things? 

[00:05:09] Sean: It there’s gotta be something like that. Cause there’s a whole lot of people out there that are missing some life lessons. That should be pretty easy to explain at a young age or I don’t know. Maybe they did. And. They’ve lost their way, how to do so. 

[00:05:26] Torie: You know what? I’m gonna bring up this like fucking Corona virus, 14 days to slow the spread. That’s fine. I was fine with that. Like, we don’t know what this is. It’s a little scary. A lot of people are getting sick. I was totally fine for, I will stay home for 14 days.

You stayed. In our state. It was only 11 days. They locked down in Georgia for 11 days and they were like, dude, don’t leave. I was okay with that. I didn’t leave for 11 days, but then once you start to figure these things out, oh, this is okay, this is fine. Oh, we know something new. Like you, you got to get back to what you’re doing.

You can’t stay home forever just because something happened. You can’t just quit. Because stuff gets difficult. Cause it’s always difficult. Always, always, always. How are these people going to be parents? Parenting is fucking hard. You don’t have to just ditch your kids. Cause it gets difficult. Maybe people do, they turn into the kids start to be teenagers and so they hand them phones and tablets and then the parents drink at night and then they don’t know what’s going on. Like maybe that really is what’s happening there from. 

[00:06:38] Sean: You know, these, some of these parents that have multiple kids, you know, To raise their first one and how it’s progressed. And now, you know, they’ve got a kid that’s in college and then they got a kid that’s 12, you know, that how they parent that 12 year old is substantially different.

[00:06:55] Torie: Like, you learn a little bit that, like, you don’t have to take a lot of stuff with you on the second kid, you know, we had extra stuff that we didn’t really need, you know, that there is that kind of lesson. But I do think some of them are like that, that they’re like, did this already. Being a business owner is hard. Like there are days. There’s been many days. Did it fricking sucked. 

[00:07:20] Sean: Yesterday sucked man. 

[00:07:21] Torie: Yesterday was like some of these days, like stuff just does not go. Right. And it’s not like you can be like call somebody, you deal with this. When I worked at the publishing house with Jill, that was the best thing.

Like I dealt with everything until there was a problem. Like I kinda handled it. And then once it got to that point, like, You got talked to Jill and Jill made everything better and she was so good at it. Then when I started working for myself and I didn’t have Jill to take care of it, it kind of was hard.

I still have a hard time with stuff. Like if you don’t pay me, it’s going to take me a long time to get your payment for some reason, that is why it has been great. That song, bitch, you know what though? Sometimes you have to call. Sometimes you have to push a little bit more though. I just recently. You told me that I needed to call on a payment and I did email about it.

But that’s still like when there’s.

[00:08:18] Sean: Two different things, this is never had to call anybody. 

[00:08:22] Torie: You know? I mentioned before that I signed up for all those certifications for veterans. Disabled veteran business or veteran owned, or rather that I did every woman owned. I did every single thing that I could find under the sun because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. And then that’s how I was going to like magically get all these cool clients. And I ended up getting a bunch of shitty clients. We had those plumbers in. LA. And we printed a shit ton of business cards for them. I printed all kinds of stuff for them, but they were so hard to pay. They would not pay me.

They would pay like, oh, 90 days. Oh, whenever they wanted. And I would email the guy and he would be so condescending. Like it’s only $750, dude. It’s like me and another. It’s two people here. Like that’s a lot of money for my little teeny business. 

[00:09:15] Sean: And pay it. No big deal. Right. 

[00:09:16] Torie: And you know, he was always such a jerk to that guy. Well, he was just the accounting guy. He was not the owner. I did not have access to the owner. It was a pretty big company. So what was it? It was rote ruder or something. Oh, as a franchise. It was a franchise. So with the. The little dude or whatever. But so, and that was hard, you know, and, and not having somebody else that could do that for me was difficult.

But when you started working for me, I think that made it a little bit better that you’re a little bit. 

[00:09:46] Sean: Passing blame to each other.

[00:09:49] Torie: A little bit, you know what I’ve heard that people have done because this whole, like, collecting money is like something that in business is just a hard thing. And so whenever you have these hard things, like you gotta figure out like, what the fuck works for you. And so I’ve heard that people will do like a single company, like a solopreneur, right? One person, they’ll make another email address. That’s like, Kevin. At Toriemathis.com and you know what Kevin handles the bill collecting and Kevin writes a mean ass emails. He is serious about collecting the bills.

And so that way, the person that’s dealing with it, it’s usually some type of service professional. You know, that’s dealing one-on-one with our clients that you have like that nice rapport with them. And then if there’s something happens with billing, Kevin will take care of that stuff. Cause Kevin is ruthless.

[00:10:36] Sean: Hmm. That’s that’s clever. And so you want to tell, they want to talk to cliff Kevin on the phone. 

[00:10:42] Torie: Kevin’s a mute as an actually speak. 

[00:10:48] Sean: Hey, if it’s that big of a struggle for some of those things, it’s probably best to offload that crappy client. 

[00:10:56] Torie: You have to like find the problem and the problem you can’t. It like these people are like throwing in the towel. Like I’m not going to, I can’t be a business owner because I can’t collect bills. Can’t get people to pay me. No, you just gotta, you gotta figure out what works for you. If you need to make a Kevin and you need to make a Kevin, if Riley needs to not stay up late or walk up 9,000 stairs, I’ll tell you the second day. So that was on Tuesday, on Wednesday. We were also all day at the water park and I think, he slowed down a little bit in the beginning of the day so that he would last at the end and then we, him and I. 

[00:11:40] Sean: And if you would over did it the day before he could have completely ruined the whole entire next day.

[00:11:47] Torie: And it’s good that he didn’t because we tore it up on Wednesday night. He and I, yes. Sean quit sounds that I’m going to the hot tub guys later. So we actually ran up those stairs. So six flights of stairs as many times as we could, we were trying to get in front of people. We were trying to do whatever we could so that we could just get that one more.

And one more we told the guy, our goal is to go one more time. I think you can go a couple more times like challenge accepted. Let’s go. 

[00:12:21] Sean: It’s nice when there’s not a whole bunch of people there. 

[00:12:23] Torie: Yeah. Off season traveling is pretty nice because it does make it a little bit easier to do some things though.

Some things are close and so it’s a give and takes with that kind of thing. 

[00:12:33] Sean: All that, all that was closed for us, in this case, was that kitty pool that may know different stuff that worked out well. 

[00:12:39] Torie: Incorrect we tried to get chicken wings the first night and the grill was closed. It was closed all week.

[00:12:46] Sean: That was just in that location.

[00:12:47] Torie: All of the outdoor slides were closed. So, no, because we go off season fucker. That’s what you get for all seasons stuff is going to be closed. 

[00:13:01] Sean: I’ll make a phone call 

[00:13:02] Torie: Kevin tell him to open the grill on this lie that Kevin he’s going to take care of it. He’s so good at that. I think we all need a little Kevin in our lives. Absolutely. 

[00:13:21] Sean: I don’t need a Kevin at the museum had to cause all kinds of problems. 

[00:13:25] Torie: Your people are so nice. You don’t really have any disgruntled, anything that makes it. 

[00:13:31] Sean: It was super hard at the beginning though, justifying even the $5 admission, you know, when you start a museum was one car and especially at the beginning, when we had cars for sale like they straight up didn’t want to pay to come in.

[00:13:42] Torie: That’s true.

[00:13:44] Sean: Sucked. Cause I thought, you know, it, it wasn’t great. Like I knew it wasn’t great, but then I also knew it was only $5, but then I just started rationalizing. I’m like, look right. I need to keep the riffraff out. It’s $5 if you’re into this stuff, if not. 

[00:14:03] Torie: Well, and I think that there are some people that want to help out begin our businesses. And if you let them know, Hey we’re now we only have a couple of weeks. I think that people are willing to help out, but again is, it’s a money thing that was hard. Riley has been dog sitting and I should say pet sitting in the neighborhood. And before we went on fall break, he actually for the weekend pet sit his first fish.

And by the time they got home, we left. And so we were gone all week. We got home on the weekend. He didn’t hear from them and he’s like, I don’t want to be rude. And I’m always worried when he says that. Cause there’s some crazy shit that comes out of this kid’s mouth. When he starts like that, I was like, oh, now I don’t mean to be rude, but she hasn’t paid me yet.

Like, oh, it looks like you may need to go over there or text her. Like I had nothing to do with this job. This is you. You’ve got to take care of this. It’s important to you. You don’t have to be mean about it, but finger say something and he got lucky and she showed up and delivered his money. 

[00:15:17] Sean: The job you closed the job and he does the work he does.

[00:15:21] Torie: But if he has issues with the payments, he needs to take the first steps for that. Again, like it was uncomfortable for. And he’s going to have to go through all these uncomfortable times. 

[00:15:31] Sean: Really all these people, they overpay for the service. I don’t know the one, except for that one. That was all. 

[00:15:39] Torie: He had to go to one, four times a day to feed and let out the dog because they didn’t have a doggy door or anything like that. And he got a big little scratch on his arm. You see that scar? He has, what’s a good one. He’s going to have that forever. He’ll remember Vader forever, but it’s good for him to go through some of these, these challenging times because then you become an adult and you can’t let these challenging times.

Make you quit. You know, we go to the gym, you get sore. I hurt my damn shoulder again. It doesn’t mean I stopped going to the gym, but it does mean I need to figure out, figure this out. But it doesn’t mean I’m going to quit before that happens. And you were saying, you think it’s an excuse. 

[00:16:24] Sean: To not go to not do things, not do things because it’s easily. Yeah. If you make, if you give in to the excuse of why you can’t do something or why you shouldn’t do anything anymore, it’s, it’s easy to quit. It’s just. 

[00:16:42] Torie: You know what I think I am so lucky right now. I don’t hang out with a lot of people. So the people that I do hang out with mostly are the people that I work out with five days a week. I go hang out with them and they’re awesome. They’re awesome middle age, you know, there’s no young ones, really. Every once in a while we get a young one, they don’t stay in our classes. And these are like CrossFit style CrossFit. I think it’s because the gym is expensive. I think they might, the younger people might go to the cheaper gym.

[00:17:15] Sean: I watch people and like, I don’t watch them cause that’s weird. But I see a lot of the younger ones are hit and miss it. Cause they’ll, they’ll come in. And then you won’t see them again for a while, but they’re still there. So paying a membership. 

[00:17:29] Torie: But you have to pay for that class. That’s not a free class.

The class that I take is a premium class because it’s yes because it’s considered like so it is a premium class. 

[00:17:43] Sean: Classes are free? Now. So the gym is milking us dry. 

[00:17:48] Torie: Yoga classes are free. The group classes where they’re all in the room, all jumping around to music and stuff. Those are free. The ones that I take are with the actual trainers and it’s considered small group training and it’s more like technical and stuff.

So you get more one-on-one so you get to work with an actual trainer. That’s why there’s only. 12 people, 14 people allowed in the class. 

[00:18:11] Sean: Well, then they really need to stay up and keep up and you, and not downgrade for the new people. 

[00:18:17] Torie: So that’s why we get some young people come in. And I think they’re just trying it out. He’s like, you can try it for a day or two. So the one young girl that worked there that I really liked because her and I were very competitive against each other. She stopped paying because her mom didn’t want to pay anymore. And then he let her go for like another month. And then he finally cut her off. So she actually stopped going. Then she ended up moving to Florida, but I don’t think it is a young people class. That’s the only thing I can think of cause I know like CrossFit and things like that, like, it seems like a young type of person. 

[00:18:51] Sean: Going to that class too, but none of us have to pay. 

[00:18:54] Torie: Fucking liar, Kevin lying. He’s not going to the class. So the people that I work out with, they are paying for a premium class. They are all my age or older. I don’t think very many of them are younger than I am. But like th w nobody complains like we all like really root each other on, like, we are not quitters. We’re not going to make an excuse.

In fact, we get hurt or something. We are fucking pissed off that we’re going to miss the gym. Like none of the people are like that. So when I hear you saying like, these people are making excuses, that they don’t want to do anything, like, oh, hang out with people like that. So it’s like, I’ve almost like, washing my hands of that, that when I hear that I’m like, let’s go with. 

[00:19:40] Sean: And distance yourself, get away from those people because it’s contagious that I, I mean, I get, I got people in my immediate family that, that if you were around them for too long, you. And it starts rubbing off whether you realize it or not, because that’s what you’re around. And it’s sucks, man. I mean, I pretty much was raised like that. And since I’ve been on my own it’s, whatever it is I want to do, I go do it. 

[00:20:09] Torie: When you say you were raised like that, what do you mean? 

[00:20:12] Sean: Like before 18 as a kid? No, but what were you raised? Like you said you were raised like that. Oh, I don’t have negative, always looking for the reason that they can’t, they can’t do something like I couldn’t play, I couldn’t play football because I might get hurt, you know, so went and did it anyways. There there’s just things. I, I, there was always a reason I couldn’t go do something and it was like that until I got just a bit old enough to be like, to question, well, why. Like, is there a specific reason why I can’t do something, you know I got nothing else to do, so I not be able to do it because for the, I mean, it was always, no, you can’t, you can’t go do that.

[00:21:01] Torie: Hmm, that’s pretty interesting. So I wasn’t raised that way. There was always like a question of like financial stuff. Like my mom, wasn’t going to spend money on certain things cause she was going to spend money elsewhere. And you know, looking back, I don’t think that her decisions on where she was going to spend money, it would be the same as my decisions on where money would be spent.

For example, we had a swimming pool and a spa, but I did not get braces. So, so money-wise, that was always a thing. Or we lived in kind of the boonies there for a while. And so trying to logistically get me places, like you said, you couldn’t play sports because you were going to get hurt. My mother was never worried about me getting hurt, but getting me there while she had to work and stuff like that was always like an issue. But no, my mom was never like a, you can’t do something. She was always like, go fucking do it. Do everything. There’s nothing you can’t do. like, that might not, that might be like a little too gung ho like maybe you need a balance of that. 

[00:22:01] Sean: Open you’re talking kids, like, you definitely need to regulate that a wee bit because some of these kids don’t need to be doing certain things, obviously. 

[00:22:09] Torie: Right. Right. And then my dad was always like, why can’t you do more girls? I want to do the fun stuff I wanted. I want to go well, like during Christmas and stuff like that, he would buy me like a necklace and like the boys would get rollerblades. Like I wanted to rollerblade. I didn’t want a necklace. I like the boys got, I don’t remember. They got something else. Really cool. I got a jacket.

[00:22:39] Sean: That’s cause he doesn’t really know. 

[00:22:40] Torie: You just find me the fucking rollerblades whenever you’re buying them, buy it for me too because I want to do the fun stuff. So, but he never said I couldn’t do anything either. He just always wanted me to do girly stuff. I didn’t really want to do the girl stuff but to me. 

[00:22:57] Sean: I mean, it’s like our kids it’s, you know, to try and all kinds of different things, karate coding circus stuff gymnastics stuff. What else have they done? Football, baseball, how hasn’t been football, soccer. 

[00:23:12] Torie: Football. He did. He did football for a very short time. 

[00:23:15] Sean: Basketball. See what works so far not a whole lot. 

[00:23:23] Torie: Well, shit like I try to force them to do some stuff to a point. Like, I don’t want to some of the stuff that they haven’t continued. Like I totally get it. Like I wouldn’t have fucking wanted to do it. Like when he did T-ball he did T-ball and then once he got into baseball, the coach that he got wouldn’t let him play. And he was still little like seven.

[00:23:45] Sean: For a long time. And then all of a sudden was the big kid. 

[00:23:48] Torie: Well, no, I mean, when he did the baseball, he was only like seven years old and he got on a team that the coach said, you won’t play for a couple years.

You gotta earn your spot. He’s seven, like sticking a seven year old on a bench like I wouldn’t do it either.

[00:24:09] Sean: Yeah. That probably wasn’t the best thing to say, but that also would have only been his coach for that. 

[00:24:14] Torie: Right. He was not wanting to just sit on a bench though. 

[00:24:18] Sean: And that has attention span was not very good. 

[00:24:22] Torie: He wants to be out there and do, do stuff. He doesn’t want to sit on a bench. 

[00:24:27] Sean: Frustrating to watch him play baseball because he’s so different than me.

[00:24:32] Torie: Well, he’s the weird thing is though, is he’s very athletic. He just, isn’t very committed. He is not good at teams. We learned that with basketball, he got on a basketball team. And again, I totally get why he quit. They, whoever was picking teams they picked kind of favorites. And then the team that Riley ended up on was like the do-do team with like all the brand new people, people that didn’t know people that were really small.

And then that team also was short people. And so there was only enough players that they all had to play. Nobody could ever sit out. Those kids were tired and they lost every game. And he didn’t want to do it anymore. I’m like, you gotta do it for the team. He’s like, I don’t care about the team. Think all those kids retired.

That was a rough season. 

[00:25:19] Sean: It was a brutal season. It was tough to make me not want to do it again. 

[00:25:23] Torie: Yep. So you, but there you go. Okay. So stuff got tough and we decided it wasn’t for us. So there is a balance there. So I think you’ve got to find that balance for yourself. But I think more often than not, you got to push through. 

[00:25:35] Sean: Well that I think that was setting, setting kind of a goal. You know, it wasn’t like, well, that game sucks. This team sucks. We’re done. We finished the season. 

[00:25:43] Torie: No, we didn’t. We almost finished the season. Okay. The team got broken. It was so hard on the kids that the team got broken up.

[00:25:52] Sean: We finished until they split the team up. 

[00:25:54] Torie: Yes. Once they split the team on some of the kids went to other teams, some of the kids were like, it was so much for them that they were, they didn’t do it either. And that one coach was like, come on, come to the team. We’ll take care of you. And he’s like, yeah. Right. That’s what the first team. They didn’t take care of me at all. And that was it for basketball. Yeah, it happens. It’s either, at least he was out there trying it and doing all these different experiences rather than, you know, not trying anything.

So I think if those parents or those kids that are like, I’m so happy that my mom made me practice my violin 50 hours a day, because now I’m a great violin player and I’m like, man, 

[00:26:39] Sean: I don’t want to kept playing guitar. 

[00:26:40] Torie: I don’t want to bitch at my kids for 50 hours a day. Yeah. It’s gotta be give and take.

[00:26:45] Sean: There’s gotta be some passion behind it too. I mean, they they’ve got want it just a little bit. And I think that’s where the difference is. It’s it’s, you know, you, you want it and then it gets difficult. So they quit versus like, I don’t want to do this. I’m going to quit. Like. You wanted it just because it’s hard.

Doesn’t mean that’s when you quit, they never wanted to do it in the first place. And they gone about quitting. You know, then you can say, well, you know, you gave it an, maybe you gave him an opportunity to see if you liked it. Didn’t like it and move on from it. Cause you don’t want to also, you don’t wanna waste your time on shit. You don’t care about either. 

[00:27:21] Torie: I think giving yourself some type of commitment is a good way to kind of force yourself to work that out. Which is why like forcing the kids to play the season when Bella started so she did gymnastics and she did gymnastics for two years and she asked for gymnastics for quite a while. And so I, she had quit some other things. And so I was like, okay, we’ll do gymnastics. We got our gymnastics. She didn’t do it for one, like they had several different sessions, she didn’t do it for one. And we came back and they actually said she came back and was really good and wanted to put her to the, the longer class.

And so she was doing really good at it and she got to, she was bored. Like it wasn’t, she just, it, she didn’t really like it. And so I was really worried when she wanted to do this circus thing that she was going to quit. Because, you know, things get a little bit difficult and sometimes like she decides she doesn’t want to do it.

And this girl is so crazy stubborn, possibly the most stubborn I’ve ever met in my entire life. I think that it can, it can be a super power. Like hopefully these powers are used for good and not evil, but she is stubborn. And so when she signed up for it, I didn’t tell the truth. It’s month to month, but I told her, you sign up for it. You signed up for the whole season. Like it’s a commitment. You can’t not do it. So don’t, don’t tell me that you’re going to do it. If you don’t commit to the whole entire season. So you go until summer starts, she was like, I’ll do it. Like, like literally you can’t stop. And she loves it. She really likes it.

She’s still doing it. She’s on her second year now. 

[00:28:54] Sean: And now she’s in right now is what she wanted to quit. 

[00:28:58] Torie: That’s the one I would not let her quit. She wanted to quit gym now. Yeah, she was good at gymnastics. They said she was really good. They wanted her to stay, but she just, she, she didn’t really care for it just wasn’t her thing. So maybe that’s what she had to go through to get to this circus thing. And she really likes the circus, but no, I did not give her an opportunity to even say that there was an opportunity to quit. I was like, it is a commitment and you cannot, like, if you signed, like we still have to pay, you still have to go.

And so that was like said in the very beginning and that way it wasn’t like she did it for a short time. It was like wishy washy. I was going to buy like the uniform and that kind of stuff. So it made it so she was forced to be in there. And again, though, that is why I love the 75 hard program. And I think everybody should go through it.

Not because you want to lose weight, not because you want to get stronger, not because of any of those kinds of things, but because it’s strict, it makes you uncomfortable. You have to do like two workouts a day for 45 minutes each and one of them has to be outside. Why because it makes it inconvenient and it makes you preplan.

And that’s when you got to say, oh, well, how am I? Like, I’m not somebody that’ll go work out in any weather. So I better preplan that. I think you kind of get to know yourself, force yourself to get to know yourself so that you can work through some of these things. 

[00:30:20] Sean: So we were both military, so we’ve gone through basic training and that’s essentially. You know, a very similar program that’s more involved. So I think anybody that was ever in the military has gone through that self-awareness that you can do the shitty things, right. You can do what’s hard and get through it and overcome persevere, all that kind of stuff. But I think anybody that hasn’t had to do that there really isn’t careers out there or any, anything really firefighting? Maybe it’s not the same, like, oh, because you’re not forced, it’s not a bootcamp. I mean, maybe some police, some of them have a little bit, but it’s still, it’s not, it’s not the same. Like you, you, you’re not broken down. And as a police cadet, you’re, you know, trained and, and you grow from there, you know, in the military break everybody down to the same level and then start the process of building, you know, the soldier that they’re looking for. And I it’s it’s eye opening, you know, no matter what age you go through 17 to what is it 27. Like it it’s, it it’s this exact same for everybody. As far as breaking them down and growing them or bringing them back up, it may be easier for the certain different age groups, but it’s still the same process.

[00:31:45] Torie: And it’s like, oh, I could never do the military. I don’t like people yelling at me or telling me what to do. 

[00:31:53] Sean: Those are the people that need it the most. 

[00:31:54] Torie: Yeah. Well, and I think, I really truly believe that everybody like everybody, me, you were like, we don’t realize what we can do. Like people can do, put up with people can do so much more. People can go further. I don’t know. Like there’s just like the uncomfortableness happens and we just want to stop. And some of will just never get through that. I don’t want my kids to be like that. 

[00:32:22] Sean: I, for a lot of people, that’s the first reaction it’s easier not to. And you really think they just quit. Don’t hang out with these people. I’m glad to know. Gives me a skewed look on the world and. 

That’s because you and I, we think of something and you know, 30 minutes later, it’s going for a Guinness world record. Like in literally 30 minutes, we have gone too far to turn back, you know, after we’ve processed exactly how much work is involved and what we need to do. And it’s too late. Got it. 

[00:32:58] Torie: Yeah. Unfortunately though, I think with all this COVID and this lockdown stuff, especially since you say people do want to not do stuff and quit. I think it’s going to make stuff worse though maybe the people that do want to do, maybe that just is going to push all of them further, further out in the front. Once some of the shakes out.

[00:33:21] Sean: That’s like our client that has the the bar, you know, and I talked to him when all this stuff first started all the COVID stuff. He, he just wanted to outlast everybody. Yeah. He had, he had competitors and, and businesses that were around him that people could go to them instead of him. And all he knew, all he had to do was outlast them. He has, and now business is booming. 

[00:33:44] Torie: That’s good. 

[00:33:45] Sean: No, so, I mean, it’s good, you know, not everybody should do everything, you know, so it’s good that some people. I prefer to be one of the people that, that do. 

[00:33:59] Torie: Kind of like when the real estate crash happened, like maybe there were a lot of people that really shouldn’t have been realtors when they were in there for the wrong reason, or they just, it really wasn’t them. Cause I think once that whole thing, like shook all those realtors out, what you were left with with like, those were the passionate ones that. 

[00:34:17] Sean: I mean real. If people go and they get their real estate license thinking, all I got to do is sell one house a year and they’re going to be rich. Shit’s difficult and you need to be good. 

[00:34:28] Torie: And you need to really want to do it in order to, to stay sample with it.

Well, I can just hope that we do good by our kids and we don’t end up with quitters it’s all you can do. Right. 

[00:34:44] Sean: Right now it’s just a waiting game.

[00:34:49] Torie: To be determined.

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