Ep. 55 The Cardinal Sin to Getting Ahead In Life – How to Achieve Your Goals
The Cardinal Sin to Getting Ahead In Life – How to Achieve Your Goals
If you want to grow your business and reach your goals there is one this that will cause you to fail no matter how hard you work.
Torie Mathis and her cohost Sean go over the biggest mistake so many of us make, costing us our motivation, goals, and confidence.
If you’ve failed to reach your goals, in business, life, sports or gift wrapping this episode is for you.
We’ll cover strategies to achieve your goals, gain new skills, and give some entrepreneur tips to meet and exceed your goals.
Get SMART AF resources and tools to grow your business at besmartaf.com
Listen or watch the full episode below:
EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION –
(transcription is auto-generated)
[00:00:00] Torie: So you’re saying I’m not a professional wrapper yet.
[00:00:03] Sean: You might have to have a few more Christmases and birthdays behind you.
[00:00:07] Torie: Okay, so you got to work on my skills here.
Hey, Hey. Welcome to smart AF on your host Torie Mathis, we have got a great show for you today. So let’s get started. Hey, guys welcome to the show I’m Torie Mathis your host. And this is the one and only Sean Mathis.
[00:00:32] Sean: Hello
[00:00:33] Torie: Founders of Miles Through Time Automotive Museum. So this Christmas, I had the kids wrapping their own presents not, not the presents for them presents for the other kid. Riley did awesome. You went shopping with Riley and got a few things for me. And he went and grabbed all the stuff that he needed and he went up to his room and he wrapped it all himself and he came down and it was crazy. He didn’t take the scotch tape. He took the packing tape and he just like wrapped it. You know what? It’s wrapped had bows on it. He wrote the to and from of. It was wrapped and Bella made fun of him talking about how crappy it was. She kept talking about how crappy it was. You can’t compare Riley as wrapping with my wrapping. Like he’s a kid, this is the first year that he actually like wrapped all this stuff himself.
[00:01:33] Sean: It’s not easy.
[00:01:34] Torie: And you know what? We sat down when him and I went shopping for you and Bella, him and I sat down and he was like, well, how do you, how do you do it like that? And I showed him some of my little tricks and he raps on me. And from that first time, he went up there to the last ones that he wrapped crazy different.
You know, how, how much better Bella got, she should get better at all. You know why she didn’t even try. She was like, I’ll write the tags and I’ll put the bows on and, and she didn’t want to do it this year. So he was the one that was willing to do it, willing to not compare himself. To somebody that’s obviously older and has been doing a lot longer, but you can’t do that.
It doesn’t work. You can’t compare your, you know, your scenario to someone else’s scenario because you don’t know where they’ve been, what they’ve, what they’ve done, the experience level they’re coming in with. Even if the two of us were the same. I mean, you and I are similar ages and you couldn’t even compare your wrapping to my wrapping.
That would be stupid. Buy you one thing don’t care me. I do. That’s like two total things right there. And so just in that, I’ve wrapped a shit ton of cousins presents for like in high school. All my friends, parents, you know, that wanted stuff wrapped because they didn’t want to wrap it, wrap anything. Like I loved it.
I thought it was great. It’s all neat and orderly and make it pretty.
Cause I’m a wrapper I’m best.
[00:03:05] Sean: Better than the rest.
[00:03:06] Torie: That’s right. I see it as a business too. It drives me crazy. You know why? Because people look at marketing and they see what other people are doing and they’re like, oh, that’s easy. I’m just going to do exactly. Yes. It doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t work that way at all, because what you see on the outside is not everything that’s going on.
There’s so much else. We know. We talked about the damn crazy print job that the client tried to design themselves and they designed it with I don’t know, they might’ve designed it in word. I don’t know, but it didn’t work because they don’t know all the things that are involved to make a file print ready. It’s very easy to say. Oh, that’s so easy to do. But you can’t compare yourself or what you’re doing by just looking at the outside of somebody. We watched that Michael Jordan movie, you guys watched that that was a series.
[00:04:03] Sean: It was on Netflix. That was really good. It makes you like Michael Jordan, best basketball player, arguably ever lots of good basketball players, like really good basketball players. But watching, like what Michael Jordan went through to get to the level that he was at. And he wasn’t born that way. I mean, it makes you like question, like, do I even want to be that good at basketball? Like his whole lifestyle was formed specifically around becoming that good. It doesn’t have to be that extreme on certain things. Like, it’s a, it’s a really good example of, you know, two different basketball players. Both are good, but you know, the one cannot be compared to the other. You just, you don’t know. I mean, sh shoot, they could both be the exact same. Perfect basketball player, but the one guys, you know, one year older, which means he’s got one more year of practice
[00:05:09] Torie: Talking about that with the kids. Was that basketball, you were saying that kids that were a different age because of when their birthday.
[00:05:19] Sean: Yeah, that was man. That was it was a book. The guy that researches everything that he, Malcolm Gladwell. Couldn’t tell you what the name of the book outliers. That’s it. Holy cow. What else do you want to tell the rest of the story?
[00:05:34] Torie: Because no, you listened to the audio book.
[00:05:38] Sean: I think I, oh, you’re not supposed to tell time. I read the book with my ears, so I have not read it yet.
[00:05:44] Torie: I have it on the bookshelf, but it takes me a little while longer to get through that.
[00:05:50] Sean: You know, players, I think it was talking hockey specifically. A lot of it. You know, they, they all start at a certain age, but based on initially when they’re in, like, I don’t remember what he called it. I think a baseball. So like Peewee league. They’re at a certain age and there’s an age gap there at the beginning where, you know, depending on where they’re born in the years, they’re off on the month.
So kids that are towards the end of that cutoff are older essentially. Right. Even so that even though they’re the same age, but depending on what part of the year, that is, they are older. And at certain ages, it’s not that big of a deal. But then again other ages when they start to hit puberty and all these kinds of things that line up with that particular sport that they ended up being the bigger kid, because they’ve, you know, they’ve hit that puberty or whatever the case may be.
So they’re, you know, they’re a little bit taller. They’re a little bit faster. They’re a little bit more mature. And so the coaches pick up on those kids. More frequently than the kids that are the younger immature ones that haven’t developed as far. And so right off the gate, they’re groom and they’re, they’re grooming these kids that are in the specific age group that then follows them throughout their entire career as, as they, they they’re continually grown.
Cause they’re constantly that, that bigger one. And then they. They’ve gotten so much extra practice and training and experience that now the agent sizes didn’t even matter. It’s the fact that they have so much more experience doing it, that the, the other kid that didn’t get that extra practice and training and attention, they can’t even compete anymore.
So by the time they got to the professional league of it, like the, the data, like they were all born in the same portion of the year, like all of them. And that’s simply because they were, they were groomed that way from the get-go.
[00:07:53] Torie: So you could actually look at people like the same age and one of them went pro and one of them didn’t and you like, you can’t compare that because you don’t know that whole other backstory, like that’s crazy. Like. Everybody that went pro they’re pretty much all born on the same.
[00:08:09] Sean: That same part of the year.
[00:08:12] Torie: That’s crazy.
[00:08:13] Sean: And I mean, it’s, you know, the, the kid that, that was, you know, the, on the younger spectrum at the beginning, if he would have been given the same opportunities, For that extra training. There’s nothing that says that they couldn’t have done it.
And it’s just, they didn’t. And so, I mean, I like that 10,000 hours to be an expert on stuff. Like if you want to be really good, but you’ve only got 5,000 hours, you are not going to be as good as somebody with 10,000 hours. It’s not going to happen across the board for everything. There’s tons of studies out there for. I get it. You’re, you’re not. And there was another one where, where I think it was the music industry. I don’t remember what instrument it was specifically, but they had, they had professionals and people that were just hobbies that were playing these instruments. And the, the thing was, was that they were all good.
But only the ones that were really good had that over 10,000 hours worth of practice. Like none of them, none of them were the elite that didn’t have that much time in it.
[00:09:23] Torie: So you’re saying I’m not a professional rapper yet.
[00:09:28] Sean: You might have to have a few more Christmases and birthdays behind you.
[00:09:33] Torie: Can I say, I got to work on my skills here. I know Michael Phelps is another one with that. That just has the, like, that’s all he did. Right. So it’s not like, you know, yeah. He, you know, swam like that was his life was swimming.
[00:09:50] Sean: And in that, like his body shape. Was ideal for swimming. And that just happened to work out in his favor, you know? And he was tall with long arms, arms and short legs, really?
Because that was, again, another book that I read with my ears talked about that, that he, there was another guy. I don’t remember, remember his name either, but same height as Michael Phelps. And he’s an Olympic runner. Except the runner’s legs much longer than Michael Phelps. Right. So it’s the waste is at a different height altogether where the, the runner could never swim as efficiently as Michael Phelps just cause his body wasn’t built the same.
And just the same. Michael Phelps is not a runner, his short little legs. Tall upper body. Isn’t going to, isn’t going to make him ever as good of a runner as the other guy, even though they’re the exact same height. So, I mean, there’s a lot of different things that you have to take into consideration that you just there’s. No. Ever comparing yourself, you can strive to be like somebody and you know, but that’s pretty much where it stops. Otherwise you’re just hurting yourself for no reason. I will never be as good as Torie at wrapping.
[00:11:17] Torie: This is true. This is true. I see a lot of people in business wanting to do. It’s usually like Facebook stuff. Like they want to do these same funnels that people have, like, so, you know, having an ad and like selling their products. But they just like, see an ad and then they see that they have bought the product or, you know, whatnot. And they see like, oh, this person is doing so much in sales. And we have somebody else that talking about like growing Facebook groups and stuff like that, you know, they have such a big group.
Well, you can’t compare where you’re at when you’re first starting to this person that you don’t know how much spent on ads or anything like that to get that group to where it’s at or to get that many sales, how long they’ve been working, it’s easy to see. Overnight success, you know? And it seems like so cliche, but then like the more you actually see it, like actually happening, like, wow, like that stupid cliche is true.
Like it does look like they, you know, overnight happened, but you don’t know all that stuff that went into it. Years and years of working so hard doing this, you know, like Michael Jordan, you know, putting in longer hours than anybody else, more time stuff that people didn’t see, things that nobody saw you and having all those stars aligned and making all those stars align.
[00:12:49] Sean: Comparing to like billionaires really high up there, millionaire. I don’t know if I want to be a billionaire with the amount of crap that they have to deal with. I can only imagine, like they’re constantly being sued right. For one thing or another. Like I doubt there’s a whole lot of free time there because to make that much money, you’ve got so much responsibility. I rather just make what we need to, to have the lifestyle.
[00:13:20] Torie: Well, we’ve talked about that though. Like we talked about, you know, if us 15 years ago got dropped into where we’re at now, like we couldn’t do what we’re doing right now because we don’t have the experience that got us here. Right. You know, in the thing of a billionaire, it’s not the fact that you have that money.
It’s the person that you became to allow you to have that money, right? Yeah, when I was young, I wanted to be a lawyer and then I got in high school and stuff like that. And I started to take a few law classes. I did some competitions like this trial competition stuff. And actually once I learned more about it, I’m like, Hmm. That’s not the lifestyle that I want. I don’t want to have to get, you know, I don’t want to become that person that, you know, has to work those types of hours or has, you know, it’s like, I wouldn’t want to be a doctor either. I don’t want to work those types of hours and have those types of shifts and go through that in order to get there, like you have to realize would have.
[00:14:16] Sean: Would have opened the Amazon. Like it is today, right out the gate. It probably would have completely flopped. If he’d have spent all that money to build that infrastructure, there wouldn’t be any products in there. Right. Cause all the different sellers and everything, nobody would care. Nobody would pay for TV through through the internet.
That’d be crazy, you know, but people look at them now and they’re like, well, Amazon that’s, you know, buy anything store online. He went through all kinds of stuff to get there that like literally only him. Only his experience would, would lead him on that path. Even like Elon Musk, you know, like, I’m sure there’s like, there’s a lot of Elon Musk fans. Probably unhealthy fans. If you ask me, like, I’m not, I I’m, I’m an Elon Musk fan, but not like that. He is unique, man. You can’t say, well, I be just like Elon Musk. If I had all his money, the key is he only has his money because he’s Elon Musk. Right.
[00:15:22] Torie: Went through that stuff. And those experiences and had those quirks that you know, is willing to go through what it takes to get there.
[00:15:31] Sean: Yeah. I mean, he, and I know enough about myself that. Not probably like Elon Musk in a lot of ways. That means I’d probably not be like him if I went down that route. But I’m cool with that. Yeah. It’s, it’s cool to launch rockets and have that goal to go to Mars and all that kind of stuff. Would I have done it? Probably not. I think it’s awesome that he is though.
[00:16:01] Torie: Well, it’s easy to look at my, you know, like we said, the outside of it and see what he did, not everything that went into it. Warren Buffett is the same way, you know looking at what he’s done and what he’s a mass, but it takes a certain type of person and it takes a lot.
Skill to go into their assign Riley but I think he reads like half of the day. I think they’ll gates does too. Like these people don’t just know stuff just magically, like they’re constantly learning and constantly like it takes that kind of person to be able to process that kind of information, to be smart enough, to make decisions, to make that kind of money. You’re just like it takes Michael Jordan doing, you know, a bazillion free throws and to get to where he can do it. Yeah.
[00:16:47] Sean: And sometimes you make the wrong decision before he even realized what the right decision would have been he has.
[00:16:56] Torie: The wrong decision usually has to be made in order to get to the right decision in order to get those skills. Right. Figure those things out. And again, we always talk about like, you can’t plan for all this kind of stuff. There’s no way you’ve got to kind of just work through it and figure out what happened. ’cause you, you know, Jeff Bezos couldn’t have planned exactly where he’s going to be. Just like Elon Musk, probably didn’t either.
I don’t know his whole backstory, but when he was making PayPal, I don’t think he. I’m going, I have a sports car and launch rockets, like somewhere along the line, you kind of decided that, but I don’t think, you know, 20, 25 years ago, that was exactly his plan.
[00:17:42] Sean: The thing is, is even if it was like, he had to be able to do something to, to start building that, that pile of money, to be able to do the other things that he wanted to do. He didn’t, he wasn’t able to just be like, I’m going to go out there and build rockets and electric cars. Change the infrastructure of the world, but car chargers. So it was PayPal and it was able to, to build, you know, that pile of money from that to be able to do stuff to, I mean, again, you, like, how do you compare yourself to somebody like that?
it’s impossible. Like you’re not going to go and be able to create your own. Money processing company, and then go and create some other boring company and then some other electric car company, and then create your own rocket kind of like you, he had, like, he can’t think that way, no matter how much you’re, you know, you find yourself in love with him.
[00:18:42] Torie: So it’s easy though. Like we were, you were talking about a couple videos ago, like parenting, you know, there’s no, I said there’s no handbook for parenting. Every kid is different. Like every situation, our, our personality there’s so much going on. And so yes, you said there is a handbook, but that’s what worked for them.
Not what’s necessarily going to work for you. So you can’t like read one thing and think, right. Like that’s exactly what I’m going to do and hope that it, you know, think that it’s going to turn out exactly the same, because it’s not, that’s why there’s lots of parenting books and lots of diet books, and lots of all these things.
Everything doesn’t work for every single person, but that’s what makes it cool. Like that’s what makes it better. So yeah. Figure out what you need to, but you have to go on your own journey in order to get to whatever your destination is going to be and who knows what it’s going to be.
[00:19:35] Sean: Yeah. Look for inspiration, but that’s it like you, you don’t, you don’t need to look for it. To strive to be exactly like anybody.
[00:19:47] Torie: Because it’s not going to work. Never does. Plus you gotta find your own style. That’s where style comes in. And that sort of makes all these people like so neat and so different is that they have that, that whatever it is that makes them them. Yeah. Those are a bunch of basketball players, but man, like each one has their own thing that makes them cool. I don’t know. You know what I mean? Like, even though they’re good, like Shaq is so different than Jordan was no Bezos is so different than Elon is. And even though like they’re all billionaires or like, there’s just stuff that they have their own style of, what they’re doing and you’re going to find your own style out and you can’t just try to copy somebody else’s style and think that that’s gonna get you where you need to go.
You gotta go through that journey yourself.
[00:20:40] Sean: It’s all about the journey.
[00:20:43] Torie: So if you liked this video, subscribe to our channel, we’d appreciate it. And we’ll see you in the next one.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: TORIE MATHIS
Torie Mathis helps entrepreneurs get from where they are to where they want to be by working smart. She is a best-selling author, Army veteran, speaker + trainer, and your mentor to creating the business+ life you love. She has cracked the code for creating a lucrative, independent business + an amazing lifestyle. She can help you with your marketing and business growth, your clarity and purpose and help you reach your vision of success. 🙂
Torie hosts SMART AF, a show for non-techy, non-marketers looking to grow their business, with her husband Sean and is the creator of SMART AF Magazine.